Four Flew Over To The Cuckoo's Nest (Porter,Strikr,LBB)

If Azima hadn't already been so well assimilated in his magical life at camp, he might think to himself this can not be happening! Or something else involving denial. Instead, his mind decided to focus on something else. The Gray sisters are taxi drivers? Sighing heavily, Azima entered the 'Chariot of Damnation' with the others, not looking very enthusiastic. Once inside, he put his backpack on his lap, and awaited the sisters to drive off. He quickly found the sister's bickering to be very irritating. Azima briefly considered snatching their eye with telekinesis, perhaps that would give them some motivation to shut up, but Azima didn't want to risk them crashing the car. Azima might have assumed they had some sort of magical sense that allowed them to drive without sight, until one of them mentioned handling the instructions. Sighing again Azima muttered out "We might be the first demigods to die via a traffic accident." Azima's mind went to the myth about the son of Apollo who ended up dying whiling riding his father's chariot. "Well, the second."Spell Check

Laying face down on the cold ground after being flung from the Death Cab, I took advantage of my opportunity to kiss the precious ground in thankfulness of being alive, spewing silent prayers to the Gods and the Fates for sparing our lives. I didn't even know if the Fates were listening. It sounded like they had better things to do anyway, like playing Mario Kart with Charlie.
After a quick rain check on my limbs to make sure everything was functioning properly, I hoisted myself from the ground with a groan, taking in my surroundings briefly. Crowds of people walked around us. A few didn't even notice we were laying there, and others looked at us as if we had three heads. I found myself asking the age-old Demigod question, what had the Mist made them see?
"Sorry, guys..." I muttered, rubbing my forehead with my palm as my brain began to rattle in my skull. "I didn't mean for that taxi ride to turn into... Whatever... The Hades that was." I quickly retrieved the bag holding my violin and opened it to view the damage done to my precious violin. Fortunately, it was all in tact, save for a few chips in the paint job I had let a friend in the Demeter cabin, Morgan, apply to it. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and steadied myself to a standing position.

Once the four of us had righted ourselves, we made our way inside the building. What awaited us on the other side of the doors were lots and lots of people. Some wore business suites and carried briefcases, others wore casual clothes and carried luggage.
"How far will this train take us?" I wondered aloud, eyeing the luggage cases of other people hopefully.
"Well, I think they have overnight cabins," Luke answered absentmindedly as he tried scraping sticky syrup from his breakfast off of his pants.
I nodded approvingly. "In that case, it should get us a fair ways away from New York at least." I gave the group a promising smile before making my way to delve into the crowd, waving for my quest mates to follow me.
Despite having lived in New York for my whole life, I had never had the chance to become acquainted with Penn Station. It was large and extravagant, as well as loud and very busy.
I found a line that wasn't too long and seemed to be moving fast. In front of us, a family of four struggled to get themselves organized as their youngest child had begun throwing a tantrum.

The line we stood in moved quickly, and soon it was my turn to face the attendant sitting behind glass. She had a welcoming smile paired with tired blue eyes. Her hair was pulled back into a tight pony tail to keep it out of her face.
"How can I help you?" She questioned as I approached.
"Hi- um. My friends and I are looking to go to Texas. Do you know a train route that would take us there? Or possibly really close to there?"
"Texas?" The attendant questioned, cocking one of her eyebrows downward in an analytic fashion.
"Yes...?" I answered hesitantly.
"What're you boys doing in Texas?" She asked innocently. Her smile had reappeared on her face as she had turned to her computer, clicking the mouse multiple times and typing a few things in with long nailed fingers. I found myself staring at them as they rapidly moved around the keyboard. They looked like claws.
"We're just going to visit someone," I answered, trying to be as polite as I could in reaction to this woman's prying questions. I figured she was just trying to make friendly conversation.
"Oh yeah? Are they family?" She asked again.
"Uh... I guess you could say that. I'm not really sure how we're related, though... It's complicated."
"Right." The two of us shared a lengthy glance between us, resulting in an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. How could such a nice lady make me feel so weird?
"Well, sir... It looks like you're in luck. We have a route going from New York to New Orleans With a few spots still open for purchase. It's called the Crescent Route. Leaves in a few hours."
"Great!" I exclaimed, a wide smile playing itself on my lips. If we could get ourselves all the way to New Orleans we'd be golden... That is, if we could get there with as little problem from hidden monsters as possible. "How much does it cost?" I asked enthusiastically.
"Well, for the four of you... Plus your sleeping arrangement... Plus your carry on... Plus your dining arrangements... It'll come to..." With her claw like fingers, the lady tapped away on a calculator, adding up large numbers together. My excitement quickly began to fade as I realized we might not even have enough money for this lengthy venture.
"$650."
My jaw fell before I motioned for her to wait a minute with a sheepish smile. I turned to my quest mates, but the woman spoke to get my attention.
"Sir, there's quite a line up behind you. If you need time to discuss I have to ask you to step aside and let those behind you have their turn." I acknowledged the grumpy looking people that glared at us menacingly before heaving a sigh and nodding to the woman. I pulled my group aside from the line.
"So... I didn't think it would be that expensive." Keeping in mind that we still had to afford food on this trip, I doubted that together we'd have enough money. Luke and I only had left over cash from the last quest we went on, and Azima and Eli hadn't been out of camp. Unless my group somehow had mortal money to spare on this excursion, we'd have to get creative. I was determined to board this train, even if it meant concocting a devious plan to get us on there.
"Unless we've got enough money between the four of us, and some to spare afterwards... I... Have sort of a plan." I proposed. "It's totally uncool, but think about it. If we can get on a train that takes us all the way to New Orleans, that'd be dope! Azima, are you good with manipulating the Mist?" I questioned, knowing the quiet guy was a son of Hecate. "Because if you could create the illusion that we're carrying four tickets for that train ride, we'd be set... No one would question us! All we need to do is find our way to the right track and blend in with the crowd of people that'll be boarding." I looked around at the faces of my quest mates, wondering what they thought of the simple and easy to get away with plan.
"I'm also... Heavily open to suggestions," I added.

Azima's face was reddened, and a bit sore from his ejection of the gray sisters' taxi, or 'Chariot of Damnation' as it was titled. Upon reaching the end of the line, Azima was annoyed to hear that none of them had the money to cover the trip. Not at anyone in particular, Azima felt as though making money for the real world would be hard for anyone at camp halfblood. Maybe the camp should look into a quest fund, to give campers who go off on a quest. Azima would make a mental note to bring that up with Chiron or Mr. D.

When Fletch asked Azima about manipulating the mist, Azima crossed his arms in an annoyed gesture. Again, not at Fletch, though it may have seemed like it from Fletch's perspective. Azima's father was sort of an occult scholar, who liked to study anything about magic, and sometimes, he's ramble off to Azima about it. Sometimes, Azima was intrigued, other times he wasn't,(Like when his father went on about how magic could be related to numbers.) but Azima did know about different kinds of magic or what was sometimes referred to as 'pseudosciences'. There was Alchemy, Druid magic, shamanism, voodoo magic, mysticism, even the act of exorcism or hallowing in modern religions like Christianity might be considered magic.

Azima knew telekinesis, and he wasn't even sure how he did it, it was more instinct than anything. Azima wouldn't even know where to place manipulating the mist as a school of magic. Shaking is head, and snapping himself out of his little trance Fletch's question brought on, Azima decided to brief his explanation. "I have never left camp since I first arrived almost a year ago. I've had little to no interaction with the mist, so I know little of it. I could always attempt it if you'd like, however I am unsure of the results. If I must do it in this case, I would suggest it as a last resort." Azima then thought about the weapons they were carrying. He himself had simply tried his best to pretend his staff wasn't there, and looking around now, nobody seemed to notice either, outside of his quest-mates. It was definitely the mist, but was Azima controlling it? Or was it doing this on it's own?

Upon hearing Eli confess that he had money, Azima shifted his annoyed look to him. Clearly whatever he had going on with his father was a sensitive subject, something Azima shouldn't pry into, but using his money was definitely safer than gambling on Azima's control of the mist. "Perhaps using your money would be best, Eli. I would not know where to begin faking tickets with the mist. I am not sure it would even work." Upon reminding himself of the mist, Azima looked around. He didn't notice anything suspicious, and even made eye contact with security only for them to smile back. The mist was definitely covering them as they were.

         Unfortunately for me, none of my quest-mates seemed to like my idea for sneaking onto the train. On the bright side, though, it sounded like Eli could come and save the day with the obscene amount of money no one knew he had. 
"Yeah, dude. What do you mean 'since he did that to you'? Did what? leave you $10,000 in the will?" I questioned alongside Luke. I had attempted to make the question sound lighthearted, but the shock that I could feel circulating in my widened eyes and slightly dropped jaw may have caused my reaction to sound a little less like what I was going for. 
Before any of us could get a taste of Eli's mysterious past, our conversation was interrupted by the Penn Station employee that had caused my uneasiness. 
"I guess we'll have to discuss this later," I muttered under my breath as I witnessed the woman transform. Instinctively, I raised my hand over my head in search for the top of my violin that sat lazily in my floppy canvas backpack. Finding and twisting the top right tuning peg, in one natural motion, the instrument transformed itself, and my backpack into my bow and quiver with a bright flash of light. I gripped my bow tightly in my hands, curling my fingers around it's wooden body in the comfortable placement they were so used to. As I watched the woman's surroundings morph into an intimidating chariot pulled by lions, I pulled an arrow from the quiver and notched it to my bowstring, refraining from pulling back just yet. 

        It almost didn't surprise me that she was some sort of mythological beast out to harm a group of innocent demigods. Her vibe was way too suspicious for her to actually be a mortal box office worker. I couldn't help but feel as though I probably should have listened a little more to my gut. I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows as the deity began to spew the usual monster monologue. 
"Do not try to oppose the Eleftherios, young demigods. I represent the leader of the cult of Cybele. And you shall perish,"
she threatened. 
"A cult?" I questioned in disbelief. "Hell no. Don't expect me to drink any of your Koolaid, lady. No ma'am. Not today." With the fingers on my right hand wrapped around the fletching of my arrow, desperate to pull on the string they gripped, I backed up as the lions stalked towards myself and my group. A throaty laugh escaped the mouth of the woman. 
"It has been quite some time since I have seen a group so befitting of our standards," she mused as she drew herself closer to us. "You wouldn't believe how much work goes into re-creating a reputable cult."  
"I'm... Sure it must keep you up at night," I muttered in response, lifting my bow slightly as one of the lions opened it's vicious jaws in a yawn. 
"You would not know the horrors we have faced," the woman snapped at me, her tone sharp, her features drawn into an angry expression along her face. "Ever since our destruction, we have planned to rise again and take revenge on those who caused us anguish all those moons ago." 
"Bummer," I replied, eyes darting back and forth towards the face of each lion, and the positions of my quest-mates. "How, exactly, if you don't mind me asking, did 'they' destroy you?... And who's 'they'?" I questioned, wondering if she would be so kind as to give me an insight to her destruction. 
"We praised the Goddess Cybele, undying in our loyalty, gracious in our offerings... But they, those... Christians,  saw our intentions as demonic 
and condemned our cult to its demise." 
"Oh yeah? What made them think it was demonic?" I interjected, wanting as much information as I could get.
"They saw our offerings as unfit," the deity scoffed. "They barely gave us a chance to explain before they were telling us that our acts of offering our blood and valuable reproductive extremities to Cybele were officially banned." My eyes widened at her words.
"Sorry, reproductive extremities?" I questioned, my voice cracking at the images appearing in my mind, suddenly not so worried about having to drink poisoned Koolaid, but the woman simply ignored me and continued with her rant.
"AS IF they had any right to tell us how to practice our religion," she spoke, angered disbelief played in her words. "And then what do you know? They start taking our followers, forcing them to commit suicide, burring them alive... They destroyed our temples, burned our items of worship... But we're back now, and we are getting stronger. You will all make such wonderful additions to the cult!" She said, excitement replacing her anger as she finished her sentence. "You'll make such beautiful young ladies."
My eyebrows knit in confusion at her words, but before I could question anything, she whipped the reins that she had tied to her lions, and the felines roared to life. Their throats produced low, throaty growls as they set their intimidating amber eyes on us, dropping into a stalking position as they crawled to close the space between themselves and their prey. I had seen this look in the eyes of my cat Fi$h back at Camp Half-Blood, and if I had learned anything from the constant dead birds that showed up on the steps of the Apollo cabin, it was that we were in trouble.  

I wasn't at all sure about what to do. Usually there is a waiting for a monster or spirit to reveal themselves to us (imagine being wrong and trying to attack a mortal-- now that's a one way ticket back to Juvie). Someone in the group will then identify the Greek figure from a class or a book they've read or whatever and we'd find out what they do and what their weaknesses are, but Cybele? Was she the goddess of Hipsters? The name didn't even sound familiar. I looked at my quest-mates to see if any of them could've possibly recognized her but the blank looks told me as much as I already knew. Azima's particularly didn't help much, even with his dark complexion I could tell he was losing the blood in his face, turning a more ashen colour. His slender fingers were wrapped around his staff, but they were shaking, hard.
All I could do was press the teal square on my checkered wristband and continue backing up and away from the lions as it glowed a white light and transformed into Keravnos, my bronze sword. My mind began to race as my eyes darted from lion to lion, picking out spots where I could get a good attack in and not turn into kitty litter. The woman began speaking of her cult as if she wanted us to join it, Fletch's responses mimicking my own reactions in my head. He seemed to be going somewhere too- the Cybele chick began talking about being destroyed.
So they do have a potential weakness, I thought to myself.
Fletch seemed to have the same plan in mind, as he began prying about her history. It was good to see him so on top of things, maybe I shouldn't have been so worried about him with leading the quest.
Christians... Cybele's response echoed in my head.
I tried to think of the possible 'Christian' ways to destroy a cult. Maybe they're like vampires and we can just throw holy water at them? Or shove a cross in their face? Maybe parade around them with offensive signs, like 'GOD HATES GREEKS'.
My thoughts were quickly interrupted as soon as Cybele talked about reproductive offerings. I was beginning to wonder if I should've brought a few jockstraps to the quest, just in case. Like crotch armour. It was even more apparent what she had in mind when she called us 'ladies'. I know understood why Chiron probably would've skipped the 'insane cults' part of Greek Mythology when teaching to a bunch of tweens. Still, if it's life or death I would've liked to be prepared. (And bought some crotch armour).
"Hey, buddy! That's not how gender works!" I called out, hoping maybe a more modern lesson of gender identity would get us out of this potentially messy... mess. Unfortunately, Cybele was ignoring me, as if it took all of her concentration simply to focus on Fletch. Okay- well, I guess he'd probably make the prettiest girl out of all of us anyways. Before I thought she was gonna order her lions to surround him, she instead concentrated on Azima. I guessed she wanted to pick out the least willing of our group, who might be more easily disarmable. I hoped she wasn't right.
She wasn't going to get away with it that easy though, Azima didn't look like his response to danger was 'freeze'.
As soon as lions began to approach him, he flailed his staff upward and suddenly a large force surged in me and I stumbled, falling over on my face as my sword skittered out of my hands and into the air, swirling in circles. Suitcases and toothbrushes began to bounce off lions, too lightly to do any damage, but at least it distracted them for a while. That being said, I was now weaponless and with no means of defending myself. I mean, wasn't too bad at wrestling at camp but I wasn't sure if I could quite take on a lion yet. Or ever.
"Hey! You've been stuck in the olden days for far too long, lady! You're doing it all wrong!" I yelled, as I picked myself up from the floor, resorting to words to try and fight.
She didn't pay me any attention, she was transfixed on Azima and Azima alone, with a piercing and wild gaze that sent second-hand shivers down my spine. Lions began to recover from their annoyance and a pack of three in particular approached Azima. Before anyone could react, my sword careened down from the sky and straight between the eyes of one of the lions, who bursted into a dust that scattered in different directions, I guess from Azima's leftover telekinesis, and obstructed the vision of various other lions. The sword clattered and slid to the ground underneath the chariot.
That got Cybele's attention.
Her icy gaze snapped to me, taking me in like her next lunch. I didn't waste a moment speaking up.
"That's like, a super old school and inaccurate portrayal of transexuality you have there!" I yelled out, trying to remember all I've learned from Roxy and tumblr blogs.
"What are you blabbering on about? We're an ancient and devoted religion, we've been practicing our beliefs for centuries!"
"Well maybe it's time for a revision."
"We don't need a revision- we have scriptures commended by Cybele herself!"
"So did Christianity, but do you want to be like them?"
That hit a nerve, but I'm not sure if it was the correct one. Cybele's lions began to recover and stare hungrily at me. Cybele kept her steely gaze on me, but it was relatively calm.
"Go on."
uh...
"Your body is like a vessel, man. If we were lovely ladies we'd feel it inside, we can't just take away some parts and then boom! That's a toxic way of thinking that makes people feel inadequate. Who wants their identity to be shaped purely around what genitals they have? That's not cool."
"And what do you propose, son of Zeus?"
The way she said that sent shivers down my spine.
"Uhm, maybe a couple of months of therapy and then based on a diagnosis of gender dysphoria get hormone replacement therapy?" I offered.
She sniffed. "Too complicated."
Despite her reluctance, the lions grew impatient and began to advance on us again, impatient with any resolution.
"We could start out with experimenting with gender expression! That's an easy first step! Makeup and dresses and that jazz!"
Cybele grinned, suddenly interested in that solution.
I began to wonder how much my quest mates hated me right now.

Eli loved cats, well unless they were attacking him, then he wished they didn't exist, but of course Eli wasn't lucky enough for that. As the lions kept coming closer he saw Azima freak out and then, well he wasn't exactly sure, mortal objects as well as the groups weapons flew at the enemies. However, Eli had multiple weapons, including his sword, hammer, and his control fire, because when azima made everything attack the lions, which was pretty awesome in Eli's opinion, his sword stabbed one in the side, he wasn't paying attention enough to know if it died, and his hammer bonked another one in the head, not killing it though. However his fire of course didn't move, best part of having control of an element in his opinion.

"Uh ma'am if I could have black that'd be nice cause i really hate bright colors, and my boyfriend would kill me if I wore white so therefore if you could get me black I'd very much appreciate it."
The cult lady looked at Eli strangely. "You don't consider blue a dark color?"
"Well not exactly, plus it has some black on it so yea i consider it a darker color, same thing with a lighter red, heck if you could get me either of those three colors that'd be cool." He said and then, as the lady was about to talk through a fire ball at her face, "Oh my bad, my hand slipped."
"YOU INSOLENT FOOL, HOW DARE YOU!" She spoke the usual villain talk of how he'd regret that and whatnot, but while she talked Eli gave Fletch a signal as if knowing that he needed a distraction and edged away from the group, the lions, for some reason were focused on him, he didn't edge too far however, so that Fletch could get a shot.

((No not too much at all! I'm enjoying the chaos))
I watched with nervous eyes as the dresses apparated in front of the cultist's hands, even more dated than the woman's worldviews. I wasn't particularly worried about the crossdressing- although I've never felt any particular need to get in one, and those dresses looked a bit more breezy on my downstairs than I was comfortable with- I was mostly worried about what would happen after. Would she keep us on leashes Princess Leia-style like some weird BDSM slaves? Continue on the gender journey for years as she mothers us into bright young girls? Would she just want to follow through with her original plan? All my suggestion could offer for my quest mates, really, was a distraction. The longer the idea was up in the air, the less Cybele seemed willing to play dress up and let us go. We needed to find a way out of this mess. Or convince Cybele that there was a massive booty shorts sale at some Texan mall that we just absolutely HAD to go to. I had a feeling she wouldn't get off our back that easily though.

Fletch continued the diversion. That, or he was getting really into the idea of dressing up. Not surprising either way. I just nodded.
"Yeah man it goes great with his skin tone. You can't just stifle someone's expression like that. Super totalitarian. And kinda racist." I went on.
At this point Cybele had a lovely red vein crawling down her forehead, her head shaking and her mouth opening and closing as if she couldn't quite find a retort for me.
What sent her off the edge, however, was the lovely and talented Miss Eli Bantis. At this point we were just having fun with it. Did anyone even have a plan? The fire that erupted from Eli's hands just affirmed the answer to my question: probably not. I was still hoping that she'd leave us alone after screwing around with lipgloss for a bit, but that plan was cut short with the whole fire in the face thing. Now Cybele was back in fight mode and her sights were raised back to Azima.
I cursed in my head. I was hoping to appease Cybele for long enough to at least get an advantage, but I was still unarmed. Fortunately, my quest mates seemed to have better defences than I did. Fletch still had an arrow notched on his bow, Eli has, well, his fire thingies, and Azima... Wait WHAT was Azima doing? I watched in awe as Eli and my own weapon dragged themselves off the floor to float in front of Azima's steady gaze. Now that did it. Cybele was initiating attack mode. At this point I was expecting Azima to do some crazy sword work but he just ended up flinging them right back at the cats. Eli's sword lodged itself right between the eyes of one of the lions with surprising precision and straight through, hitting her friend at the back as well as they both bursted into a cloud of smoke. My sword ended up smacking another one on its snout with its flat end, deflecting, and sliding past Azima. It was then when my eyes followed my sword that I spotted him getting knocked down, only a few inches away from a lion's open mouth.

The rest became a blur as my mind tried to catch up with my body, attempting to formulate a plan as I began tactlessly sprinting towards Azima. My mind was taking too long to think of anything clever and before I could process what was going on, I had body checked a lion.
It was like slamming your shoulder into a fur carpet draped over a brick wall. The lion stumbled to the side in surprise, but didn't let go of Azima's staff, and I wasn't finished yet. Ignoring the fiery pain that shot up my left arm, I grabbed on to the lion's neck with my right, lifting my feet up and yanking the lion to the other side, letting the lion stumble in the opposite direction as I kicked the part of Azima's staff that was sticking out the side of the lion's mouth outward. The opposite side of the staff, in turn, flung forward and hit the lion in the head, and it finally collapsed from the constant beating. I scrambled out of the way, just as the lion snapped back up to take a bite out of me, crawling to my sword. I hoped Azima didn't care too much that I man handled his staff- but he DID take mine, twice.
I grabbed Keravnos's handle and kept it lifted up between Azima and the lions, who was at the moment staff-less. It didn't land very far, but just out of reach and behind the lions as they began to circle us again. My eyes glanced up at Cybele, who still hasn't ordered a full-range attack. Her eyes glinted like a pop-gun about to go off. I figured I only had a few seconds until she got bored with playing with her food.
There were too many lions to be able to one-on-one with a sword, I counted at least thirty. Eli is swordless and I had no idea how many arrows Fletch has. We needed some crowd control.
"Eli! Your fire!" Was all I could manage to call out, hoping he'd be able to understand that we had a great need to keep the lions at bay.