jose busrach

Hi,
you're off to a good start, but I would suggest refining the way you structure your sentences. First off it's easier to speak in third person (e.g. Jose has tan skin) also, using commas will organize your sentences more (tan skin, brown eyes, and a scar on his temple.) also your description is a run on sentence, so don't be afraid to make multiple sentences. (e.g. tan skin, brown eyes, and a scar on his temple. His face is also covered in acne and he has short brown hair).
Also explain his bad habit? I don't seem to understand the 'clap' bit.
For your history explain more about what happened. Where was Jose's orphanage, why did he get kick out? (the window...?). How did he live after that? Did he have to live on his own for a year and buy/rent his own home and cook his own food at the age of 12? In what state did he live in? Keep in mind of fixing the run-on sentence in that section to.
Also can you reformat the 'summer only camper' so you can delete the question mark and colon.

Thanks!
-Gin