What is Your Major Malfunction, Brother? (CLOSED)

I opened the third row of drawers from the 6ixth drawer I searched through.
This can't be happening.
I quickly scanned the belongings, throwing clothes over another onto the floor so I could check each crook and crevice possible.
There's no way they could have taken it.
I kicked the pile of dirty clothes and candy wrappers I had made in frustration.
They warned me they were all thieves. Why didn't I listen to them?
I made eye contact with something poking out from underneath a nearby mattress. I almost tripped over a camper's toiletries that I had spread all over the room trying to get to it. I launched the mattress off the bed frame. Bitter disappointment resonated deep within the my throat when I found out it was only twenty bucks. I grumbled as I looked around for another place to search. Finding a bedside table untarnished from my hands and eyes, I grabbed the money, shoving it into my pockets and ran towards the table. What? I might as well get something out of this search. My head pounded in a frustrated migraine that only grew with every drawer I emptied.
I couldn't believe my testosterone was gone. I always kept it in a small case buried deep beneath my sleeping bag, out of sight from any grabby hands. I should've put that thing under lock and key after I was told multiple times by other campers that the Hermes cabin was full of well-endowed thieves. I just couldn't think of a reason someone would try and steal hormone supplements. Blackmailing, maybe? Found out a way to sell it to a black market? I had no idea, but it felt like I had just lost a vital part of me. There was a lot of important things I've lost in the past that I just couldn't bother to have an aneurysm over, or replace it. Like my old retainer, or my favourite coffee cup. Those didn't feel like a ticking time bomb attached to me.
My thoughts were interrupted by a voice. I froze what I was doing and looked down at the strewn clothes that covered the cabin. It seemed as if it was just now that I noticed the huge mess I was making. I slowly raised my head from behind the mattress I flipped over, preparing myself for someone barging in and yelling at me for the spot I just reserved the Hermes cabin for worst place in Cabin inspection. I was greeted with a girl I had seen around before- she also shared this cabin with the rest of us. I couldn't for the life of me remember her name, but I remembered her startling eyes that she shared with her twin brother with the cool mohawk. She reminded me of a model-with a thin and tall build and a pretty face. Her eyes were the most peculiar part of her appearance. They were both different colours. One was a striking blue and the other a muddled brown. She asked me about drachmies and drachmas, and I gave her a confused look until I realized that's the strange currency the people here used.
"Huh?... Oh those things. Yeah!" For a split second I wondered if I could get away with telling her I lose some random lala coin that meant nothing to me. "... Actually, not quite. It's something really important. I don't suppose you've seen it? It's, uh, in a black pouch."
I mumbled out the last couple of words. I haven't told anybody I was trans, the only person that new was the satyr the brought me here, Ajax.
I rubbed my arm uncomfortably, hoping she didn't pry too much, but silently preparing myself for a coming out of the gender closet just in case. I would do anything to get my T back, even if it included yelling out what was in my pants from a rooftop.
"Erm, sorry about the mess." I stammered, grabbing an arm full of clothing and meekly attempting to pour them into a drawer.
Half of them fell out and back onto the floor again.
"I'll fix that later."

I watched the girl as she strode- or rather waded- into the cabin. My eyes followed her hand as she picked up and inspected a lacy black bra. My face went red.
"Is that yours?" I asked, but my face only went redder. "Oh-um, I'm sorry. I promise there was no panty raid."
I told her that as an assurance that I didn't purposefully look through her underwear drawer but she looked almost disappointed that she missed out on a potential one. I watched her walk towards me, almost nervously. She had some sort of alluring aura to her that kind of pulled you in towards her. Maybe she was wearing Axe for Women. I watched her without saying a word as she turned to move the mattress. I almost thought she was actually trying to clean this place up until she placed her butt- something that I definitely was not and would never look at- on it. She asked me about the black pouch, and I swallowed a lump down as I prepared to myself to potentially possibly freak out a very attractive girl.
"There's- oh hi, I'm Scout. Pleasure to meet you. Um so yeah. What was there in that bag was my testosterone shots. I'm uh, a transgendered guy. That means I'm biologically a chick. But yeah... I need those shots to continue my transition. It's very important as a trans guy that I get it back. I think someone stole it but I have no idea who and how to get it back."
I breathed in a large gulp of air, my explanation leaving me embarrassed and out of breath. I just hoped she didn't somehow make this search harder for me. At least she seemed nice enough to help.

My eyebrows lifted in slight disbelief when Shiloh told me that she had no idea. She then continued to compliment me and I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks. I'd never been flirted with since my transition and I had no idea how to react. I didn't know that I had possibly formed or retained any possible good looks. And masculine good looks on top of that. I let out a small gratuitous smile that only widened when she offered to help. It felt really nice to feel support from others, especially when it was someone I barely knew.
" That... that would be great. Thank you."
Shiloh made the reasonable suggestion of looking elsewhere, something that had crossed my mind, but the rest of the camp still felt foreign and overwhelming to me- I had no idea where to start looking. From what I remember, Shiloh was pretty new too but maybe she had a better idea of possible suspects or crime scenes than I did.
I stood up and attempted to hastily throw more clothes into a drawer before beginning to wade my way back to the entrance of the Hermes cabin. I looked at the disaster I had made, but right now I didn't have the patience or tranquility to stop and clean it up again. I made a face at the rest of the room as if it would feel embarrassed enough to clean itself up. Hey, it was worth a shot. If there's flying pegasi and pudgy wine gods there was definitely a chance of a sentient room.
"Uhm, if anyone asks, I was never here." I told Shiloh, not prepared to be blamed for the mess I made.
I opened the door with a grunt as I pushed it past all the clothes and belongings on the ground.
"Where should we start? Do you have any idea?" I asked. "Because I don't know anyone who likes to steal needles from others."

I grinned when I Shiloh complied to my request with a brilliant excuse/plan and a cute mimic of locking her mouth with an invisible key. It was definitely a load off my chest, I had enough things to worry about instead of an angry group of armed thieves chasing me around camp. Even if Shiloh was just about as new as me, she seemed to have a greater bearing around the going-ons at camp. I couldn't help but hope that I could see her around some more after this, she seemed really friendly and helpful. It would at least be better than going to see Lumen for her warmth and positivity.... and as much as Dexter tries, he's not very helpful when he's half asleep for half of the day, and high for the rest of it.
She mentioned something about being a gentleman, and I gave her a confused glance.
"Uhm, thank you?" I responded, unsure of what she was referring too.
She flashed me one of those stellar winks, and I began to looking up and down myself to see if maybe my fly was open or something else she could make fun of me for. I gave her a nervous- if not goofy smile in return. I couldn't help but feel a blush creep up on my cheeks. I still was not used to a girl flirting with me.My face only reddened when she proposed making out with me. This was a weird chick. A weird, insanely attractive, super friendly and cunning, chick. I tried to respond but all that came out was a trainwreck of stutters that sounded a little like.
"Uh, you were-that was a-but the huh?"
Internally I wanted to scream YES PLEASE MAKE OUT WITH ME YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HORMONE REPLACEMENT THERAPY DOES TO YOUR SEX DRIVE but I was still unsure whether or not she was joking, and we both seemed a little awkward. If I wanted to kiss this girl, I wanted to make it worth her while. I cleared my throat as my eyes darted around the camp, something I did whenever I was in pensive thought, searching for an answer to her question.
"You're brother actually sounds like a great idea, and hey, maybe later we might have a bit of time to make out."
I looked up at her with a sheepish smile, my eyebrows lifted in a that's a good compromise, right? manner.
I wasn't kidding either, her brother was very quiet, and kept to himself in the Hermes cabin as much as possible, but he obviously wasn't there now.
"I've seen him around the training arena sometimes with that wicked curvy sword that he has. Since he's not in the cabin, he might be there."
I started to make my way in a direction that I was half-sure was where the training arena was, hoping I won't make a fool out of myself. Fortunately, I remembered the Arena being very close to the cabins, and as soon as I walked a over a few metres I could see the white pillars of the open building, where many kids were practicing their auditions to the Cirque Du Soleil with cartwheels and backflips while twirling some ancient weapon of some sort. I couldn't believe this was what a regular day at camp looked like. Was I supposed to turn into an acrobat like them someday? I think I was doomed to be the clown of this carnie-camp. I didn't even have a weapon yet. Maybe they'll have a balloon animal section for me. My mind began to drift off my primary goal as I began to wonder if I was supposed to book an appointment or fill out adoption forms to get my own weapon.

Shiloh and I walked until we reached the marble steps leading to the stone platform of the arena, when my thoughts were interrupted by a loud BUCKAWWW!
"Look, just because I told you you were a chicken doesn't mean you have to start-"
"BUCK BUCK BUCKAWWWW!"
I turned my head towards the strange chicken banter, and to my surprise and relief spotted Shiloh's brother, his scimity-whatever one hand, the other outstretched as if he was having a heated argument. I jogged towards him, with only my desperate need for my testosterone pouch in my head.
"Hey- dude!" I called out, completely forgetting I had no idea what his name was.
He snapped his gaze over to me, an exasperated and confused look shown on his multicoloured eyes.
"Do you know this guy?" He questioned.
My gaze drifted to the guy across from him who must've been his sparring partner. A tanned guy with dark shaggy hair and thick eyebrows stood hunched over, looking as if he had a dire need to barf all over the floor.
"I don't know what's going on, man! All of a sudden I'm craving bread crumbs and I think being a chicken is a really cool lifestyle for some rea-BUCK BUCKAW."
The boy doubled over and covered his mouth, as if he was coughing- but the coughs sounded strangely like chicken clucking.
"As if this dumb camp couldn't get any weirder!" With a violent thrust, Kaiser wedged his sword into the nearest training dummy's head.
He seemed to have caught his sister's eye, because all of a sudden he seemed to be paying more attention in our direction.
"I thought this only happened to you!" He called out to his sister.
"Look, guy. You're not a chicken, okay? Now stop acting like a complete idiot."
"Hey man that's not coo-BUCK BBUCKK."
Kaiser threw his hands in the air in a 'I'm so done with this shit' manner and I turned to look at Shiloh in a questioning glance.
"Does this usually happen?" I asked her.
She seemed so chilled and normal, I almost forgot she most likely shared some strange godly power with her brother.

I watched in utter confusion and awe as Shiloh sashayed over to Chicken Little, placing her fingers on his chin almost seductively and told him the most sound advice that has ever come from someone's mouth throughout my whole time at camp. 'You are not a chicken. You are a normal demigod.'
I wondered if 'normal' and 'demigod' should ever even be put in the same sentence together, but from the desperate look in the guy's eyes, I think he was desperate for the reassurance. And it worked. As soon as those words escaped her lips, the boy seemed to instantly relax, his folded up arm-wings dropped and the strangle clucking in his throat was no longer attempting to escape his mouth in short cries. I exchanged a glance with Kaiser, hoping someone could share my befuddlement with me but he only glared, as if daring me to say something negative about his sister or the chicken man. Americans are so strange.
I rushed over to Shiloh and the Chicken, partly because curiosity overtook me and I suddenly felt the urge to understand what was happening, mostly to avoid Kaiser's piercing gaze. Poulet man was coughing and gasping for breath. His hair was matted down to his face and sweat and grime covered his face. I think I've seen him around before at camp. What had Shiloh called him? Luke?

Kaiser came fuming after me, inquiring what happened in a very aggressive tone. Despite Shiloh's seemingly confident power-wielding, she didn't seem to know much more than he did. It was very reassuring. I made a mental note not to ever provoke Shiloh into calling me any sorts of names related to livestock. She introduced me to Kaiser, and I didn't realize I was holding in my breath until Shiloh decided to keep the contents of my black pouch unknown and I was internally grateful for her silent secret keeping. Kaiser raised his eyebrows slightly, as if intrigued as to why his sister was running around with some random kid to retrieve his stuff, but he didn't incline to what we were getting. He turned his hard stare towards the ground, and for a second I thought he was having a glare-off with floor until I realized that he was in thought.
"I'm not too about a black pouch... I had to leave the cabin because some crotchety bird lady kicked me out." Kaiser grumbled out, hitting the blade of his wicked sword against the ground.
"Crotchety bird lady?" I turned to see Luke, recovering from wiping the dirt in his face with a kleenex turn to our conversation. "You mean the cleaning harpies? They like to do their own standardized cabin clean up check. Which I mean sometimes it's cool because they vaccuum your place for free, other times not so much. They have a tendency to swallow any dirty clothes on the floor and collect anything they think looks cool."
I felt my heart do laps around my chest as I tried to decipher if this was good news or bad. My mind felt like it was splitting up and having a war with itself.
You know what this means, Scout?
The cleaning poulet lady will probably kill me after eating all of my cabin mates' clothes that I threw on the ground?
Non, crétin! You've got a lead!
"Where do they usually, uh, roost?" I inquired.
Luke scratched his head, as if that thought never occurred to him before.
"I... would suppose the forest along with the nymphs and satyrs." He frowned as if that didn't make sense to him.
"There wouldn't be any around if they were trapped inside the boundaries... they must be hanging around on the outskirts of the forest."
I figured that's the most information we would be able to get about the mysterious poulet ladies from the poulet boy, and I was itching to get back to searching for my Testosterone, so I bid them adieu.
"Thanks, guys. This means a lot." I told Kaiser and Luke with as much sincerity as a rushed and panicked Scout could muster.
You could really tell how polarizing their personalities were when Luke's face seemed to bright up in response while Kaiser's scowl only seemed to deepen, as if helping others only inconvenienced him.
"Anytime. I'll be around camp if you uh, ever need anything else. Here or the Zeus cabin. Sometimes the Lake on a good day."
Luke rushed out his formalities as he saw I was in a hurry, but he gave me a light hearted fist bump and began to walk his separate direction.
"Uh, Kaiser? Is it okay if I call it quits for today? I still feel a bit weird from the chicken bit."
"Yeah."
"Thanks, bud."
"Don't mention it. Please."

Waiting for Shiloh to catch up, I tried to devise a plan to catch the poulet lady.
"So, do you know anything about these 'sharpies' or whatever?" I began to ask, hoping for some leads or at the very least, a conversation with a pretty girl.

The Poulet ladies weren't exactly on my good side. They were well enough on my nerves by taking something of such high importance that they would never understand, it doesn't help that they decide to hide in areas unknown while we have to chase them down and coax them to retrieve my testosterone back. Even Shiloh's reassuring squeeze couldn't settle the knot in my chest. If only I had some crazy power like the rest of the demigods in this camp. I'd call lightning down or send a large tide to take out the harpies and maybe I'll have some chicken fingers for lunch. I let Shiloh lead me to the mess hall, not trusting myself to think or devise proper thoughts clearly.

I groaned as soon as I spotted campers at the mess hall. Might as well tell the entire camp that the trans kid needed testosterone. I let Shiloh continue to take the reins, she was good with her words, and there was a wave of recognition on her face as if she knew at least one of the demigods in the hall. I guess Harpy hunting wasn't a popular activity at camp, because no one was buying Shiloh's reasoning. Impatience grew like a throbbing headache inside my skull.
"What? You guys haven't had your stuff stolen by harpies? It's really, how do you say, fucking, annoying."
As casual as I tried to make myself seem to cause as little trouble as I could, a bit of sarcasm seemed to slip into my speech.
"Well I mean... that's exactly how you say it, dude." The tanned guy piped up, the sarcasm obviously flying over his head.
Fortunately, even with the boy's meat-headedness, they all looked with sympathetic faces, albeit a bit surprised from the venom in my voice.
The girl with the blonde ponytail nodded, tossing me an apple. "They stole my star screwdriver. I don't know what they eat, but if they're anything like satyrs they're probably not too picky."
"I saw a lot of them fight to eat last week's salmon scraps while washing the dishes." the tanned boy suggested.
"Makes sense, a lot of wild birds eat fish." I commented, cradling the apple in the lower area of my shirt.
"One second." The boy with the beanie disappeared into the large swinging double doors that I've always assumed was the kitchen. He reappeared with two dishes of fish in his hands, on the side were piles of fries and slipped underneath his belt was an empty bag.
"Here, just a couple of extra plates for lunch." He twisted his hip to the side, motioning for me to grab the bag from him.
Before I had time to take it from him, Shiloh did the honors with a lot more enthusiasm than necessary. I gave her a look, but I would worry about that later. The boy piled the fish and fries into the bag Shiloh opened up for him, and I slipped the apple in.
"Thanks, guys. I really appreciate the help." I nodded lifting the bag.
I made a note to myself that if I saw a screwdriver I'd pick it up. If the Harpies did wash the dishes after lunch, we at least had another lead to go by, although I'd rather not wait that long. I let Shiloh have her touchy-feely goodbyes until we continued to walk towards the forest.

It felt like eons until a Harpy somersaulted right into our trap. By that time I was so ready to get my testosterone back, it took all the will that I had not to jump her right away. My hands were trembling in anticipation and I gripped the branches of the bush Shiloh and I were hiding in to keep them steady for any possible quick action I had to take. I was surprised at the Harpy. I was expecting a wrinkly, gnarled, old lady with a sour expression that spat venom and cawed about getting kids off her lawn. Instead I saw a girl, only a bit younger than us, beginning to peck at our fish trail.
After a countdown with a shaky hand, we had caught her and managed to get her to speak about my testosterone. Her speech was strange, as if she had only recently learned a human language. Her accent wasn't recognizable, I guess it was some sort of bird-accent. I watched as Shiloh took over, letting her words steer the conversation and fight for what we were looking for. I wasn't sure she'd understand, but I noticed her slip out a black pouch. My eyes widened and a grin grew on my face. I had to force myself to slowly walk up to her, taking the pouch from her talon-like hands. Excitement tingled my fingers as I pulled on the zipper to open my pouch, eager to have the needle back in my hands again. My face fell as soon as nothing was uncovered. No needle. No testosterone. No nothing. My face went red, I wanted to throw the pouch on the ground and yell at the dumb bird lady for screwing my things up. She probably swallowed the damn thing. Needle and all.
Fortunately Shiloh intervened with the calm words and steady voice that I could never muster. Which honestly is a lot better than my method of solution.
Ace mentioned a girl named Misty, and although I was disappointed and angry that the goose chase was on again, I was relieved that it wasn't actually forever lost in the digestive tract of a harpy. In a haze of anxious information gathering, my brain managed to process that we had to go to the lake to find this 'Misty'.


Clutching the black pouch against my chest, I sprinted towards the lake. I should've waited up for Shiloh, sure that she would handle the situation and Misty a lot better than I would have, but I couldn't wait any longer; My athletic prowess naturally pushed me to go full throttle towards the forest and my adrenaline gave my quickening heart a familiar pulse from when I used to race. I reassured myself that Shiloh's longer legs would allow her to catch up quicker than the usual straggler.
Soon enough, the glimmer from the lake appeared in my eyesight. I raced up the rickety wooden dock and almost ran right off of it. I stopped abruptly, spending no time throwing my hands against the edge. I placed my pouch next to me on the dock as I stared into the water, squinting my eyes in hopes to see a nymph who looked like she would be named 'Misty'. All I could see was my own reflection, distraught and out of breath.
"Misty?" I called out. "MISTY?"
I paused for what seemed like an eternity, but in reality it was probably only a couple of seconds. There was no response. I turned back to Shiloh for help, but she was a spot in the distance, nowhere near enough to discuss tactics with. My fingers gripped onto the edge tighter, not wanting to wait any longer for a solution. So I did the only sane thing anyone in my position would do.
I threw my head into the water.
With my hands still digging into the damp wood and my knees planted on the dock, I dipped my head underwater and opened my eyes hoping a girl with a 'hi my name is Misty' nametag would swim up to me. The water was fairly clear, but my vision failed after a few metres as the water became murky. I twisted my head in awkward angles as I tried to look around in places that weren't just the underside of the dock. I yelled out for Misty, but it only came out as an UHBLUBUERUB. I kept my head down as long as I could hold my breath in for, which wasn't that long considering I was wasting a good amount of it on calling out for a fish lady with testosterone. I threw my head back over the lake's surface, gasping for air. I craned my head back a second time, my neck beginning to hurt from my attempts of whipping my hair back and forth. Shiloh had closed in her distance from me, and was beginning to place her first steps on the dock. I, however, was way too wired up to even think about letting her take over from here. I just ended up yelling,
"WHERE'S THE FISH FILLE?"
I turned back to the lake's surface for answers. I stared at my reflection, hoping it would lend me advice. All of a sudden, a feminine face took place from mine. For a second I began to panic, thinking I was hallucinating myself as a female, until I realized that wasn't my reflection. There was a girl on the other side of the surface.
I ended up diving head-first next to her into the lake. I flipped back upward as soon as I gathered myself from the dive, finding myself face-to-face with the fish fille. She swam backwards, her eyes widening. Her wavy blonde hair floated just after her.
"Blugbah?" I called out in attempts to say 'Misty' again.
She must've had some sort of water-filtering ears because her eyes flashed in recognition at the sound of the name. That must be her.
"I need to talk to you!" I blurted out, at least that's what I hope got translated into her waterproof ears.
I began swimming towards her, desperate to get her to give me my testosterone back. She let out an underwater yelp and began to swim away, in a speed Micheal Phelps couldn't match. I began to feel light headed, and swam towards the surface, breaking the water in a gasp of sharp, hitched breaths.
"Uh, did you see anything down there?" A voice called out.
I turned to see Shiloh, a little bit weirded out that I just threw myself into the water.
"Misty! I saw Misty!" I breathed out, choking on the lake water.
I swam back towards the dock in a sputter of coughs, gripping my hand against the ledge again.
"What happened?" Shiloh asked as soon as my coughing subsided.
"She got kind of freaked out." I told her, embarrassed.
"If she's anything like her bird friend, she's probably gonna wanna be baited over here with something.
"I doubt she eats fish. That would feel a bit like cannibalism."
I crawled out of the lake, rolling onto the deck.
"She likes shiny things, right? Let's get her something shiny."
I stood up to face Shiloh better, flicking my arms and shaking my legs that were still drenched in lakewater.
"What? What kind of shiny thing do we need to get for her? Glittery spandex."
"Nope, unless you're wearing some right now."
I began to reply to her but my mouth began to lose its words as Shiloh's hands went to the hem of my pants.
"Woah wait there's nothing shiny down there!" I protested, my face reddening.
She began to twiddle her fingers on my belt, undoing the buckle. I gripped her wrists in attempt to stop her from pantsing me. There was way too many thoughts pounding against my mind to concentrate hard on my defense, and Shiloh was able to fight against the force and slip the belt from my pants. I felt a growing anxiety forming, not wanting anyone to be that close to my pre-op bottom, and embarrassment from the situation as a whole. At the same time I couldn't help feeling a flutter of excitement as my hormones began acting up and trying to convince me to let her keep going.
Fortunately for me (and yet unfortunately?) She stopped as soon as she got the belt out from my pants.
"Your belt buckle's pretty shiny, actually."
And that's the moment when I wanted to punch the prettiest girl in camp.